Monthly Archives: November 2009

The Plight of a Single Girl?

I haven’t flown since January, when I went to China and New York.  It’s felt nice to be on an airplane again and have the sensation that I’m going somewhere.  For the hour that I speak with my parents on the phone every day (yeah, I’m a momma and daddy’s girl), it’s also nice to see them face to face.

Haven’t done much all weekend.  Landed Thursday afternoon, and already it’s Saturday.  Ate yummy Chinese cooking.  Felt pampered in this gigantic new house, even though my apartment back in Oakland is pretty sizable.  I miss my cat.  I hope she’s doing all right.  But honestly, mostly, I’m lonely.

It’s not that I don’t get along with my parents.  I just miss being with someone.  I even dreamed of the ex last night (with an overly cool, yet vicious new lady, of course).  Honestly, I don’t want to be with him, and I don’t feel like I would be intimidated by the ex.  What I do feel is the ego bruising, when he didn’t want a relationship and yet, he’s in one.  Weird, eh?  I haven’t talked to him in over 6 months, and my brain can still conjure up an image/short that makes me feel bruised.  Also, I care more about my ego than the whole 2 1/2 year relationship.  Either I’m an egomaniac or the relationship was not that great (psst… the latter…).

My friends ask whether I’m seeing anyone.  (No, J, when are you visiting me, though?)  Well, I haven’t found anyone spectacular enough to even have a cute crush on.  It’s been crazy at work, and I don’t really ever go out anymore.  So many people who are working with me, are all coupled off (from biz dev guys to super nerds… wtf, man?).  And I’m just a twinge scared of getting into something with someone new.  I’m too tired to put forth my best foot.  Just want someone familiar… except that I don’t like anyone who’s familiar.  Hahahaha.

I’m hoping to move soon.  Once my commute cuts down to 1 hour instead of 3, I can afford to go out.  And maybe even meet that spectacular someone.

As ingenuous as this sounds, I am happy to be single… for the most part.  There’s such a sense of liberation now that I only have to look after myself and don’t feel the need to make plans around someone else’s schedule.

Wow, if I whine anymore, I’m going to get drunk (badoom chii!).

Breakfast time.  Coffee.  Croissants.  Ham.  And left over hot pot.  YUM! BTW thanks for listening.  If you stay long enough, I might actually post some awesome tidbits that I’ve been holding in my brain and haven’t had the time or energy to write down.


Filed under just life