thilly thenny

It’s a sequences of actions that I sorely miss.  I’ve done Ramadan before and have had to fast from sun up to sun down without food or water (even Chapstick is iffy).  But it’s a whole different ballpark when you’re not eating solid food for 9 days (I’m starting with my trainer on the 10th day, so I’m cutting the program short… if I make it that far).

I’ve never thought much about it, but the physical act of eating is almost a ritual.  I love the excitement of getting the food, whether self made or bought.  Putting the cat in the bedroom, so that I can eat in peace.  Sitting down on the sofa and pulling the coffee table to the right amount of closeness.  Turning on the TV.  Switching it to the right channel.  Preparing the right amount of paper towels (those Bounty minisheets folded in half) and beverages (usually something with taste like orange juice- O.J. forever tarnished the acronym OJ, rootbeer or beer and also water). Then, digging in.

The optimal food consumption time is at 7:30 pm, which is enough time to digest before going to bed or go out and late enough that I’m too hungry later on (except when going out, at which point 2:00 am is the perfect late night snacking time).  And I usually like to eat alone.  When I’m around people, it’s more about the discussion and being with them in the moment.  But when I’m alone, it’s about the food.  So eat, watch.  Then another mouthful.  Then, Jeopardy and mentally answering questions.  Or The Simpsons or Family Guy or one of those mystery cop/forensics shows. Then another mouthful.  It’s the perfect balance of nourishment and satisfaction.  I’m both conscious of the food and yet unconscious to any worries.  Maybe some people would call this emotional eating (just like drugs because it closes out the world), and maybe they’re right.  I don’t care either way.  It’s my time.  And like the French eat (this is from French Women Don’t Get Fat and not my personal stereotype), it’s about tasting the food and consciously eating it vs. just shoveling something down your throat, by which you get neither the emotional satisfaction or the flavors and only the results: too full and comatose.

Right now.  I’m not thinking or wanting all of that.  What I want is very simple.  To have some edible solid in front of me.  To pick it up with either a fork, spoon or my fingers.  To put it in my mouth.  To chew and taste and allow my saliva to start digesting the sugars.  And to swallow.

The good news is that by next Thursday, I’ll be able to do just that.  Just 7 more days… I can do it!…