I debated whether to call this entry “lipstick on a pig” but I don’t want to lead you on. This post isn’t about Sarah Palin or the comments that Barack Obama made about the McCain campaign. I agree with most of the blogs out there that Obama was wrong to use that phrase, and the Obama Camp should be focusing on the fact that we don’t know who the hell Sarah Palin is versus whether or not the phrase should be deemed offensive to her. But that’s practically beside the point. This post is about me.
It’s 11:47pm as I’m blogging right now. And given that I’ve been to the Seesmic party (happy anniversary) post TechCrunch50 (technically 52), I’m a little buzzed. People always advise against drunk dialing much less drunk blogging. That’s isn’t the case here. I’m just trying to be candid. (It also doesn’t help that I woke up early this morning to start drinking mimosas at the Powerset/the Rubicon Project Rehab party at Mighty.)
A friend commented that Get Smart was a decent movie. Not moving but worth the watch. So I rented it today on the way to grab my 1 month supply of cat food and some Duvel (trust me, the sales clerk at Trader Joe’s definitely gave me a weird look).
My interpretation of the movie is quite different. You see, last weekend, I took the test that I’d been dreading most of my life: the Mensa test. And for the first time in my life, I’m pretty damn sure I failed the test and am not in fact among the prestigious 98%. But after watching the movie (spoiler alert?), I don’t really give.
Sure Get Smart is like every other off-beat comedy: witty, comic and 2 hours of my life. After this week of worrying about whether or not I had the privilege to call myself smart than everyone, I had a complete epiphany: IT DOESN’T MATTER. It doesn’t define ‘success,’ at least not the way I see it. And it certainly doesn’t define ‘happiness,’ that evasive term that everyone uses but few know the meaning.
What should matter in your life is what you hold dear. Not your parents. Not your friends. And certainly not your culture (mine is filled with grossly ill-defined body images, sex, porn, monetary success and of course… more porn).
And what matters in my life right now is the relationships I have with people. I realize that I’m truly sarcastic and could stand to brush up on my Bay Area social skills. I’m a really nice person. I’m fiercely loyal and a great listener. But sometimes I just don’t translate. I understand that I’ll never been as zen as Chris. I know that when I told Jennifer this morning that I hate Carrie Bradshaw (too unrealistic) but still loved her blog concept, I was being truthful and she probably didn’t believe me (understandable, totally my own doing). I know that I am amazed at what Jeremy was able to create on the Seesmic blog. I know that when my boss, Parry, told me that I was a good artist today that I should have just said thanks instead of commenting that Julie‘s caricature really wasn’t proportional.
I just can’t help myself. I’m trying. Really. I am. And I’m kinda hoping that by being honest right now, you will help me in my quest.
So thank you for the patience. Thanks for reading. But I’m far from perfect. And (here comes the after school special), I’m hoping people will like/love me all the same.