(do do do dop)
(do do doop do doop da dum)
(do do doop dum)
(do do doop do doop da dum)
(repeat)
we were as one babe
for a moment in time
and it seemed everlasting
that you would always be mine
now you want to be free
so I’m letting you fly
cause i know in my heart babe
our love will never die,no!
you’ll always be a part of me
i’m a part of you indefinitely
boy don’t you know you can’t escape me
ooh darling cause you’ll always be my baby
and we’ll linger on
time can’t erase a feeling this strong
no way you’re never gonna shake me
ooh darling cause you’ll always be my baby
(do do doop)
(do do doop do doop da dum)
(do do doop dum)
(do do doop do doop da dum)
i ain’t gonna cry no
and i won’t beg you to stay
if you’re determined to leave boy
i will not stand in your way
but inevitably you’ll be back again
cause ya know in your heart babe
our love will never end no
you’ll always be a part of me
i’m part of you indefinitely
boy don’t you know you can’t escape me
ooh darling cause you’ll always be my baby
and we’ll linger on
time can’t erase a feeling this strong
no way you’re never gonna shake me
ooh darlin cause you’ll always be my baby
i know that you’ll be back boy
when your days and your nights get a little bit colder ooohhh
i know that,you’ll be right back, baby
oh, baby believe me it’s only a matter of time
of time…
.
It basically says it all. He wants to be alone and get his ish together. I’m not exactly sure I want him back because I am so extremely hurt and pissed right now. It’s affecting the way I react to everything and everyone. Especially since he knew exactly how much I had to put up with in July and August from the other two, and he STILL pulled this bullshit on me.
I’d so love to do this… especially when he just gives him nonchalant, frozen expression every time I complain about V-Day and Christmas and the last two months.
How the fuck do you just tell someone you’re not in love with them anymore? In the course of two months? Really? I should have dropped your ass when my instinct screamed and begged for it. You know what? Not going to talk about it. You know exactly what shit you’re in, and if you’re not willing to own up and try to correct it, it’s on you.
.
Moving on…
I’m not sure if I’m going yet. I don’t think I’m emotionally ready to not make an ass out of myself, either by crying or by just being a complete bitch, a.k.a. the Jany-wall. But you should def check out my friend in the Vagina Monologues next week.
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Irony: It took Cristina, Emilie, Seher, Charlotte and I 4 YEARS to bring down my wall, i.e. be more confident, snap less often, be more affable and less sarcastic. A move across the coast, a few heartaches, and I feel like that’s all washed away. It’s so hard for me to trust people, and I don’t think Oscar realized that when he first met me. I guess he knew me when I was at my best trying to be social and friendly, but I haven’t always been like that. In fact, quite the opposite. And for him to tell me that he wanted to build a future with me? And marry and have kids with me? And then tell me he’s not even in love? As a friend, that’s just FUCKED up. Why would you do that to a person? Really… why?
.
Sorry. I’m trying not to get too entrenched in the anger and hurt.
What’s been a life saver, as with my Ty breakup, is just hanging out with friends. I went to a great party for Tom last Friday at 111 Minna and then the EndUp (part b/c that’s where you “end up” and part b/c some people like it “up the end”).
Here are pictures from 111 Minna:
The guy was painting right next to the DJ booth (there were two, one in each room). I saw a woman doing body painting too but forgot to take a picture.
It was just really chill. Everyone was nice. I looked cute. Wawi was adorable. I still have to scan the pictures we took in the photo booth. Anyway, I got home at 4:30am, which I hadn’t done in so long and it felt soooo good.
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Saturday: Woke up at 8am b/c Oscar was coming over… despite my lack of sleep. He gets here at 12. Why? B/c he’s hung over. Right.
I surprised him with a trip to Wondercon, which he had forgotten about until the night before. (We had to stop by his place to pick up pollo for Tom’s bday present.) As a woman, I count… last time he surprised me with a fun day trip: I think it was May or June or last year? Last time he was on time: … I honestly don’t remember.
.
Sunday: stayed home and watched TV.
All in all a close to perfect weekend.
Oh, yeah and Into the Pixels exhibit with Samala DJing…
All the rooms will have PS3s in the near future? Hell yeah!
One of the pieces. I think most if not all of the pieces were printed by this amazing place that has a poodle for a logo. The pieces looked like watercolor, pastels, prints, etc. even though they were all printed out. Not sure how they did it, but maybe they did each color individually to give the pieces that texture.
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I’m hoping this week’s going to be packed too.
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Not much else going on. I got some really cute clothes for work… trying to look more professional and all.
My eggling has still not germinated.
It’s pretty much a dry version of this… *poop*
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More to write about my messed up emotions. :) It’s been easier going through tumblr though because I don’t have to deal with the feelings, just release and go.
Muah! Thanks for listening, Internets.
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