I’m not going to mention his name because even if I don’t have to work with him, my colleagues may have to. And this is my own personal opinion. If you do associate me with my profiles elsewhere online and know where I work, please understand this is in no way associated with my company, any persons at my company, and so on and so forth. This is just a rant. If you don’t like it, please read the last two words of this post’s title.
So last week, the little midget is infatuated with Facebook. He loved it so much that he asked everyone to contact him on it. I mean email is so like over, so like Facebook wall me, answer my inane questions on one of the hundreds of apps I have, and oh, PR people please come over and talk to me and gimme free stuff!! Yay! Like oh my god! I mean Facebook is definitely the best way to pitch me.
This week: Facebook is whatever. I mean who uses it anymore; gosh. Email sucks. Facebook sucks. PR people sucks. (I don’t care if you brought me coffee when I was standing in live for the iPhone because I wasn’t influential enough to get one from Stevie. I don’t care if my opinion of PR professionals changes on a minute to minute basis depending on if I need them for something. You just suck!) Tweet me! It’s all about Twitter… doi!!
1. You’re fucking late to the Facebook game. I’ve been on it for 3 years, and I know the ins and outs much better than you do. So don’t pretend you know what the eff you’re talking about because um… you don’t. You didn’t “discover” Facebook. You need to get off your little ego trip.
2. You’re fucking late to the Twitter game too. Why change to Twitter? Have you finally noticed that your iPhone is slothfully slow at the internet and have decided to change to something simpler? Or did you decide that you have to stay in forefront of news in case, *gasp*, people don’t pay attention to you anymore. Be controversial let’s me stay in the news? All right!
3. Why the fuck would you play this little game of switchy switchy, I can’t make up my mind? Because you’re not at the bleeding edge. That would mean you’re actually doing something new. You’re just fucking pissing everyone off. Someone said this line in an email (yes! we still used those) and I love it:
How about this. I just won’t pitch you until you make up your mind and keep it set for, I dunno, at least 15 minutes.
So whenever you decide to get off your little ego trip and come back to the real world, where people actually work for a living and have thing to do other than walk around wiping your ass, please let me know. Okie dokie, honey bun?
Thanks!
